Goku's Trip to Bologna
by MrTennek
Summary: Goku and his unwilling cohort Vegeta travel to the country of Bologna to research the history of a certain beloved mystery meat.


(cut to Goku wearing a tophat and womans dress)

Goku - Well hello again folks; and welcome to yet another episode of 'Goku's Travelling Tips Hour'! Today, we have a special treat for all you viewers: we're travelling to Bologna to learn all about Baloney and its many uses! And on top of that, I finally have a cohost! Mr. Vegeta!

Vegeta - (drugged up) Wha...where am I!

Goku - Hahahaha, those tranquilizers will be wearing off soon! Now then, let us be off to our flight! (grabs Vegeta under his one arm and flies off)  
(twenty minutes later at the Airport)

Goku - (enters the airport with Vegeta under his arm and whistling)

Guard - Sir, we're going to have to scan all of your belongings

Goku - (barges through the guards insanely while singing the 'Baloney song')

Waitress - Hello sir, and have a pleasant flight

Goku - (knocks the waitress down and crashes into the plane) Well we're finally here in the plane! We should be arriving in Baloney in about 12 hours! Ain't it exciting Vegeta!

Vegeta - (drooling) Eh wha...

Goku - Damn straight Vegeta, damn straight.  
(two hours into the flight)

Goku - (whistling to himself)

Vegeta - (coming out of his coma)

Goku - (pulls out an old rancid and moldy baloney and chicken sandwich) (starts chewing down on the sandwich)

Vegeta - (glances over at Goku and projectile vomits out the airplanes window)  
(five hours later during the flight)

(the movie 'Cast Away' is playing on the airplane TV)

Goku - This movie SUCKS!

Other Passengers - SHHHHHHH!

Goku - ...(thinking)hmm...(walks up to the stewardess stealthily and yanks the TV remote from her pocket) Here we go! (switches the channels on the TV until the news comes on) This's more like it!

Newsman - During a freak accident today, a flight in Europe was blown up and all the passengers were either killed or horribly mutilated. Here are photos of the crash scene...

(various graphic photos of dismembered body parts and whatnot)

Goku - Hmm, that's kind of disturbing...

Passengers - (sweatdrop.  
(twelve hours later)

Announcer - Ladies and gentlemen, the flight will now be landing in two minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a pleasant landing

Goku - Here's our stop! (grabs Vegeta and flies through the side of the plane, leaving an enourmous hole)

Passengers - .  
(finally, in Bologna)

Goku - Ah, here we are finally: Baloney! Ain't it beautiful Vigoda!

Vegeta - Someone please kill me...

Goku - Now for our first stop, we'll be visiting the Baloney museum of history; let's head off,  
shall we!  
(moments later at the Bologna museum)

Goku - I tell ya, you really have to be here in person just to take in all of the history and whatnot!

Historian - Hello sirs, and welcome to the 'Bologna Museum of History'! May I give you a tour?

Goku - Well hello there Sir Baloney-Guide! We're here for a TV show in North America called 'Goku's Travel Tips Hour'! We've come to your wonderful country of Baloney to take in all of the history of your delicious meat!

Historian - ...okay...Well first of all, we have some truly amazing artifacts from early day Bologna, and some scriptures of

Goku - (laughs nervously) You know, that's great and all, but were really here for the baloney...

Historian - Wh...Sir, this country is BOLOGNA not BALONEY!

Goku - ...are you meaning to tell me that myself and my partner Vigoda travelled 12,000 miles across the Earth in a tin can while watching horrendous in flight movies and munching on rancid Baloney bread just to find out that this country has no relation to BALONEY!

Historian - Yes, that pretty much sums it up.

Goku - Okay then...

Historian - Now then, back on to the history of Bolonga

Goku - (grabs Vegeta by the arm) Vergetti, let's beat this popcicle stand!

Vegeta - ...

Historian - ...

Goku - I don't even know anymore.  
(back at the studio)

Goku - Well folks, it seems our trip to...ahem, Bologna was all in vain...but, the people there were kind enough to show us the way out, so we here have a nice going away present for them!  
Vegeta...

Vegeta - BIG BANG ATTACK! (blows up Balogna)

Goku - (laughs) Ah, those stupid bastards...Tune in next week for our upcoming trip to Turkey!  
See you then!  
(authors note: I can feel the lawsuits coming on...) 


End file.
